a christians approach to parental alienation

a christians approach to parental alienation插图

Theparental alienation tacticallows an otherwise physically, emotionally, or spiritually absent parent to experience the absolution that is provided in Christianity. In the cases where that parent was the abuser in the family, often times we cannot know because it was that same nice, wholesome, upstanding Christian neighbor.

What is parental alienation and how can I fight it?

Parental alienation is a term used to describe a process by which one parent tries to cause the child to reject, fear, or avoid contact with the other parent. Read on to learn about how to fight back.

What does the Bible say about parental alienation?

What Does the Bible Say About Parental Alienation? For wicked and deceitful mouths are opened against me, speaking against me with lying tongues. They encircle me with words of hate, and attack me without cause. In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer. So they reward me evil for good, and hatred for my love.

How to prove alienation of a child in court?

Alienation can be very difficult to prove in court, but you should start documenting any changes in the child’s behavior. You should also speak with people who know the child well, like teachers and coaches and ask if they’ve noticed any changes as well, as they can serve as witnesses.

Is family alienation a syndrome?

The concept of family alienation was popularized by Gardner (2002) who describes it as a syndrome. This implies a specific set of symptoms that are displayed by the alienated child. The syndrome has not been validated by empirical research.

Is Parental Alienation Happening in My Case?

Parental alienation occurs in high conflict divorced families in which one or both parents dislike the other parent.

What to do if you are accused of parental alienation?

What should I do if I am being accused of parental alienation? If you are accused of parental alienation, ask the other parent to describe the specific behaviors they have observed that make them think that you are alienating them. Take some time to reflect on your behavior and ask yourself whether you have indicated that you dislike the other parent. If you think that might be the case, try to speak more positively of the other parent. For example, praise the child for a trait they share with the other parent, put up photos of the other parent in the child’s room, and even state that you like the other parent.

How does an alienating parent act?

In cases of unjustified gatekeeping, an alienating parent can act in ways that result in the child being alienated from the targeted parent. The alienating parent may blame the targeted parent for splitting the family. The alienating parent may remove from the house all photographs and similar mementos related to the targeted parent or refuse to talk about the targeted parent. The alienating parent may question the children about the targeted parent and express their disapproval about some behavior. The alienating parent may exhibit extreme inflexibility with the parenting plan as a pretext to deny the other parent parenting time. They could also display extreme sadness every time the child goes to the targeted parent’s house so that the children feel bad about parenting-time exchanges.

What is the process of alienation?

Parental alienation describes the process, usually intentional, by which a parent conveys through words, actions, or behaviors to the child that the other parent (the “targeted parent”) is dangerous, unsafe, abusive, or “bad,” which results in the child becoming fearful or avoidant of the targeted parent. What should I do if I am being accused of …

What is the term for a parent who tries to make their child reject their parents?

Parental alienation is a term used to describe a process by which one parent tries to cause the child to reject, fear, or avoid contact with the other parent. Read on to learn about how to fight back. The term “parental alienation” comes from the term “parental alienation syndrome” coined by child psychiatrist Richard Garner in 1985.

How to stop parental alienation?

How do you stop and combat parental alienation? To stop parental alienation, work to maintain a positive, loving relationship with the child so that the child feels safe with you. Consider speaking with the other parent about behaviors you’ve noticed. If the alienation continues, consider parenting classes, therapy, and going to the Court for help.

Why can’t a child express positive feelings about the parent?

Occasionally, I see parents wage campaigns of denigration toward the targeted parent. Sometimes this leads to a situation where the child cannot display positive feelings about the targeted parent because they are constantly being encouraged to express negative feelings. This is evident when the child “parrots” or repeats perceived flaws or negative attributes about the targeted parent. The child may be unable to adequately explain why they have these negative feelings. It can also be displayed if the child cannot express any “gray area” or neutral feelings about the targeted parent.

What to do if a widow has children?

But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.

Why do we boast about you in the churches of God?

Therefore we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God for your steadfastness and faith in all your persecutions and in the afflictions that you are enduring. This is evidence of the righteous judgment of God, that you may be considered worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are also suffering— …

What to say to someone who strikes you on the cheek?

To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them. …

Why did Adam curse the ground?

And to Adam he said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife and have eaten of the tree of which I commanded you , ‘You shall not eat of it ,’ cursed is the ground because of you; in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life; thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you; and you shall eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your face you shall eat bread, till you return to the ground, for out of it you were taken; for you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”

How to repay evil?

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

What to do when your enemy is hungry?

To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him ; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Why do you cast all your anxieties on him?

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

How to treat alienation of parents?

The treatment for parent alienation is reunification therapy . It should begin as soon as alienation is detected. Jones, Hardy, and Smyth (2015) warn that there is no guarantee of a successful outcome. This writer views parental unification therapy as a developmental process beginning with addressing timesharing issues with the child (ren), and then the child (ren) and alienated parent, and finally if possible, the child (ren) and both parents. Dagan and Ailon (2015) offer a checklist for therapists when consulting with lawyers to set up the process of reunification therapy . It includes arranging a conference call with both lawyers at the beginning of the case, reviewing the consent order to treat with emphasis upon the child’s best interests and indemnification of the mental health professional, reviewing the importance of the lawyer’s assistance, submission of the retainer agreement, review of the limits of confidentiality, reviewing the limitations of psychotherapy, and lastly the agreement of both lawyers to submit any pertinent documents.

What is alienation in children?

The alienated child is described by Kelly and Johnston (2001) as one who expresses disproportionately negative behavior about the alienated parent that is not consistent with his or her actual experience. Alienation may be expressed in degrees (Paul, 2014). Mild alienation may result in resistance towards visitation. Moderate alienation may involve the degradation of the alienated parent by the child. Severe alienation takes the form of false allegations and/or actual fear of contact with the alienated parent.

What is mild alienation?

Mild alienation may result in resistance towards visitation. Moderate alienation may involve the degradation of the alienated parent by the child. Severe alienation takes the form of false allegations and/or actual fear of contact with the alienated parent.

Is parental alienation a form of propaganda?

The longer the alienation, the worse the outcome. Parental alienation may be described as a form of propaganda ( Gottlieb, 2014) in which the alienated parent is characterized as dangerous, untrustworthy and harassing.

What is the FLAFCC?

The FLAFCC encourages intellectual discussion in areas that may not be well-defined in terms of research and practice. As such, articles published may reflect new or innovative considerations and approaches to practice. Therefore, articles published by FLAFCC are the opinions of the authors/contributors and should not be considered the official stance of FLAFCC on any one topic.

Who created the concept of family alienation?

The concept of family alienation was popularized by Gardner (2002) who describes it as a syndrome. This implies a specific set of symptoms that are displayed by the alienated child. The syndrome has not been validated by empirical research.

dave32165 New Member

I’m still struggling to come to terms with how my BPD ex-wife could so badly distort the Christian faith during our marriage, using it as a weapon against me, and then, at the time of divorce (which she filed), continue to use her faith to justify alienating our three children from me.

bhsmte Newbie

I’m still struggling to come to terms with how my BPD ex-wife could so badly distort the Christian faith during our marriage, using it as a weapon against me, and then, at the time of divorce (which she filed), continue to use her faith to justify alienating our three children from me.

marleyhill Newbie

I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is why I won’t have children until my BPD is stable. No child deserves an unstable mother (Me) and a father (my husband) who doesn’t know what to do/deal with a BPD and end up triggering these types of episodes.

bhsmte Newbie

I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is why I won’t have children until my BPD is stable. No child deserves an unstable mother (Me) and a father (my husband) who doesn’t know what to do/deal with a BPD and end up triggering these types of episodes.

The Other Woman New Member

Dave, that was heart wrenching to watch. I am so sorry that you and your children have endured this.

bhsmte Newbie

Dave, that was heart wrenching to watch. I am so sorry that you and your children have endured this.

What is the meaning of "one parent is actively willfully and manipulatively brainwashing the adult children against the?

4.) One parent is actively, willfully, and manipulatively brain washing the adult children against the other parent by telling them lies about that parent, or making them think that whatever they did wrong in the marriage when the kids were growing up was the result of the actions of the other parent.

What is the most painful thing a family can go through?

One of the most painful things that a family can go through other than losing a child to death, is for that child to become an adult and then disown and estrange themselves from their parents. They may do this to one parent or both parents.

How long does it take for an estranged person to fall away?

Estrangement can be a gradual "falling away" that takes place over weeks, months, and sometimes years, or it can be "sudden" and takes you by surprise. It may be "on again off again" and you feel like you are walking on egg shells, not knowing when the next hurtful comment is made, the next abusive email or phone call comes, or the next "slam the door in your face" happens.

Why do adult children state to justify their actions?

1). The parents divorced and they side with one parent over the other, or they are upset with both parents. 2.) They do not approve of their parents new spouse and are jealous of that spouse and feel abandoned by the parent.

What happens when you realize that the way it went was horrendous?

3. Utter shock returns: When you realize that the way it went was horrendous, and it escalated to severe levels before you even knew what was happening, you go into shock and disbelief all over again.

What does "this cannot be happening" mean?

1. Total shock and disbelief: This cannot be happening, it feels surreal. This feels like a bad movie.

What is toxic parent?

They are "toxic parents" who drain their adult children emotionally, using guilt to manipulate them, and who have no lives of their own so they are way too dependent on their adult children for their happiness.